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My maternal grandparents met through mutual friends at a summer pool party in the suburbs of Detroit shortly after World War II.
The rapid adoption of online dating among the LGBTQ community speaks to a deeper truth about the internet: It’s most powerful (for better and for worse) as a tool for helping minorities of all stripes—political, social, cultural, sexual—find one another.In almost any other period, this project would have been an excruciating bore.That’s because for centuries, most couples met the same way: They relied on their families and friends to set them up.But to be free of those old crutches can be both exhilarating and exhausting.As the influence of friends and family has melted away, the burden of finding a partner has been swallowed whole by the individual—at the very moment that expectations of our partners are skyrocketing.(They aren’t.) But the deeper issue isn’t the number of options in the digital dating pool, or any specific life category, but rather the sheer tonnage of , more generally.
Gone are the days when young generations inherited religions and occupations and life paths from their parents as if they were unalterable strands of DNA.
“Anybody looking for something hard to find is advantaged by the bigger choice set.
That’s true whether you’re looking for a Jewish person in a mostly Christian area; or a gay person in a mostly straight area; or a vegan, mountain-climbing former Catholic anywhere,” Rosenfeld said.
As the co-authors write in their conclusion, “Internet dating has displaced friends and family [as] key intermediaries.” We used to rely on intimates to screen our future partners.
Now that’s work we have to do ourselves, getting by with a little help from our robots.
Online dating’s rapid success got an assist from several other demographic trends.