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“One of them grabbed my other hand and held it very tightly for a few seconds, and ran away,” Pradhan recalled.
Sure, women all over the world face street harassment, catcalling or the harder to point out, but as intimidating, eyefucking.I’m sorry, it’s the fault of the other Indian dude bros. Indian women also know how easy it is to get slut-shamed and are less likely to trust an encounter with an absolute stranger.In the Quora thread How would Indian girls like to be approached for a date?Milan resident Divya Kapahi was visiting Jodhabai’s palace in Agra with her Romanian husband when their tour guide made a comment that angered her.“While talking about Akbar’s many wives of different faiths, he cited our marriage as an example,” said Divya.Women I know have been driven into, had sticks thrown into the spokes of their motorcycles, and have even had men spit in their paths.
So if a girl is at a bar or in a public place and you want to tell her she’s beautiful or you’d like to talk to her, start with the assumption that she is already primed to go into self-defence mode. In a chapter on building confidence in a woman, Vatsyayana advises that women want tender beginnings, warning that, “when they are forcibly approached by men with whom they are but slightly acquainted, they sometimes suddenly become haters of sexual connection, and sometimes even haters of the male sex.”What did I tell you?
These videos of what women walking in New York and Delhi go through, no matter what they’re wearing, shows that the entitlement of male strangers predisposes us to general distaste at best and worrying about assaults at worst. In India, in addition to the quotidian catcalls, the constant commentary, and the sexual innuendoes, we also face clear threats of misogynistic violence in everyday life.
Overtake a man by mistake when you’re driving and you’re doomed to his aggression until your paths diverge; confront someone taking a photograph of you and his friends will gather around too close.
Probably every woman in India has one story about having been subject to lecherous looks as she has walked down the street. The male gaze turns more brazen by several orders of magnitude.
Ketki Pradhan, a French teacher in Pondicherry, told me about the time she was holding her German boyfriend’s hand when a group of men started making vulgar gestures.
”I found it out of place since he was talking about Akbar having a good time with many women.”Mixed-race couples often have to deal with scepticism about their relationship masquerading as concern about cultural differences.