What football tactics teach us about dating

08-Jun-2019 10:57 by 5 Comments

What football tactics teach us about dating

I have also explored research confirming that teasing someone in such ways increases desire, but decreases friendly feelings—along with the general benefits of making a partner work for your affections, too.

In the past I've allowed myself to chase people that were hard to get. Lacking the balance to not spill my emotions completely, I got hurt a lot. and people who act like them can seem more attractive short term.

Research on Tactics for Playing Hard to Get In an in-depth article by Jonason and Li (2013), "Playing Hard-to-Get: Manipulating One's Perceived Availability as a Mate" the authors report on a few studies evaluating various behaviors people employ for playing hard to get, their reasons for doing it, and the effect it has on potential mates.

The authors theorize that daters play hard to get to increase the perceived demand and value of themselves as a mate, and to test the interest and commitment of potential partners.

Looks like the comments so far are mostly from people who are projecting their own frustrating experience onto the general concept here.

The author clearly states that the key is striking the right balance by not be impossible to get.

They can also be a way to test a partner's level of interest and commitment.

Nevertheless, for those interested in playing hard to get, it takes some finesse, the right timing, and the proper balance.

The results showed that both men and women preferred very easy-to-get partners for short-term sex, but preferred partners who had medium availability for dates and relationships.

This finding supports the results of other studies indicating that playing hard to get is actually about being selective and discriminating—with people most desiring someone as a relationship partner who is attainable to them, but not to anyone else (Walster, Walster, Piliavin, and Schmidt, 1973). Given these results, it appears that some of the behaviors and tactics associated with playing hard to get succeed in making someone more desirable as a date or relationship partner.

I have written several posts covering the research on playing hard to get.

These explain how playing hard to get works on the social influence principles of scarcity and reactance; when it is best to play hard to get; and the best times for men and women to be aloof or responsive.

This is especially true when you want to establish or maintain a longer-term relationship. Trying to have a relationship with a man who played "hard to get" was probably the most difficult, frustrating, & heartbreaking experience of my love life.