I speak from personal experience when I mention that I have broken up with some of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. She had everything on my checklist — smart, silly, cute, good family, stable job, etc.
An inability to predict chemistry is perhaps one of the most limiting aspects of online dating, the advantages to this is a way of finding, introducing, and developing a relationship are significant and numerous.
So he usually gets involved with psychos that latch on to him. I like my space and I don’t care if I never see you again. A guy in my life is “nice to have” but by no means a need. Check out more from one of the original masters, David De Angelo. But the attitude that plays the best with the most women is generally some version of “cocky and funny.”Of course, most women outgrow men who are so cocky that they are unable to forge bonds with a woman.
Guys come and go but my family, especially my kids, are forever. De Angelo puts into plain words what you just feel in your bones: confident, decisive, witty, and somewhat unpredictable men are the most attractive. But the desire for a man with a little swagger never entirely wanes.
Finding love is never easy, and the dating process can often be a lonely, frustrating experience full of rejection and uncertainty.
Technology has tried to make the process as painless as possible with online dating, which lets you search for romance from the comfort of your own home.
I wrote about a man’s passion and proficiency just two weeks ago. I think those two things are the essence of any relationship.
In short, a guy doesn’t have to be a jerk to do well with women. And while I hate to keep on referencing old blog posts, some of them apply specifically to this theme, especially this one, which says: Nice guys don’t finish last. By your admission, he “calls, writes me letters, texts, takes me out, does family outings, asks about my day, washes my car, is clean, is fit, responsible, understanding, compliments me, etc, etc.”So what do you think? Or is there something more to dating and relationships than what someone does for you? And I think they get lost when we start focusing on checklists.
As for what you should do with this guy, it sounds to me like your mind is already made up. Staying with him when your heart’s not in it is doing neither of you any favors.
Just recognize that you’d actually like this guy more if he pulled away more and cared about you less.
In other words, you have nothing about which to panic. Suitors will continue to line up well into your 30’s. Loads of us are still single because nice isn’t enough for a long term relationship.
BUT…Your independent “I don’t need anybody” attitude is counterproductive. For that to work you also need fun, interesting, stuff in common.
I just got the sense that I’d win every argument for the rest of our lives because she was such a pushover.