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Then, once I had been diagnosed and started to open up about my OCD, the reactions I got from friends and family made me want to clam up all over again.Not because my friends were horrified at me, but because they were horrified for me after hearing the types of images that often manifest in my brain.
In that movie, I lose control of the knife I’m using to cut grapes and stab myself or my children in the eye.
"I would hope that my work would inspire curiosity in the viewer.
For me it's important to engage the viewer and draw them in to make a connection.
I went through long, horrifying periods of time when I hated myself, when I thought I was pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes.
I was a ticking time bomb, and I spent hours imagining scenarios where the unspeakable happened, and I killed myself out of sheer anguish or turned myself into the police.
One of the most challenging elements of Pure O is how isolating it can be.
I spent years holding these thoughts and images inside me, for fear of alienating my friends and family, of losing them because they thought I was an awful person.
According to the OCD Center of Los Angeles, for people with Pure O, “obsessions often manifest as intrusive, unwanted thoughts, impulses or “mental images” of committing an act they consider to be harmful, violent, immoral, sexually inappropriate, or sacrilegious.
For individuals with Pure Obsessional OCD, these thoughts can be frightening and torturous precisely because they are so antithetical to their values and beliefs.” I suffered silently with this disorder for years without realizing it could be OCD.
Hell, I’m uncomfortable writing about it right now. I don’t really have tics or visible compulsive behavior.
You’ll never see me cleaning the toilet with an old toothbrush or washing my hands 52 times a day; all the fun happens in my active little brain.
A little interactive perhaps-rather than just a pretty picture on the wall".