Dating a recovered alcoholic

03-May-2019 04:37 by 6 Comments

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And I certainly didn't know that, as someone in a relationship with a PIR, it would have been good for me to do these Steps as well.Now I've discovered that these "relationship" Steps are a balanced, healthy way even for non-PIRs to examine their own selves and their relationships with others.

If you sense (or know) this is the case with your PIR, it's good to give them some space and lots of tender support and encouragement, remembering that you can't be their therapist, but you can be their friend. Nagy is a college professor, actor, and songwriter.It was harder for him to admit the sexual harms he'd done and the people he'd used when he was still drinking.But he said he needed to face those things if he ever hoped to have a healthy relationship--sexual and otherwise--in the future.When people work Step Four, they begin to realize that in order to stay clean and sober, they need to handle all their feelings--the good, the bad, and the ugly ones--in a healthy and safe way rather than covering them up with mood-altering chemicals or addictive behaviors.Many PIRs who have numbed their feelings for so long start to actually feel again.Because of this, some PIRs may have developed trust, intimacy, or abandonment issues.

As a result, they might view dysfunctional relationships as normal and seek out these types of unhealthy relationships in their new sober life, unless they are made aware of what they are doing and work diligently to release and heal their past.

Many PIRs [people in recovery] also need help establishing healthy relationships.

Some PIRs come from unhappy families in which emotional or physical abuse and addiction were common.

But the Steps are especially useful if you dating a PIR, because the skills you learn from the Steps may be helpful in your relationship.

Step Four asks people to make "a searching and fearless moral inventory" of themselves.

As the Big Book explains it, a personal inventory works much like a business inventory, similar to when a store owner sorts through his or her goods to see which are salable, which are damaged, and which have to be thrown out.

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