Acoa and dating
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[edit: just read the part where she's apparently aware - what kind of help is she getting? In retrospect, I think she was just a drama queen and had it not been for her dad being a drunk she'd have been going on about something else. It was like some kind of Bizarro World rite of passion for her dysfunctional family. Ahh crazy girls/psychos..charming and addictive..at the same time bad behavior..only the latter would stop/change...which won't.] 1) Yes, she's well aware of them and admits it openly 2) Yes, I see she's working on herself and takes certain steps to change the way she responds to things Besides some kind of therapy I help her with it. You might want to head over to Rollo Tomassi's blog to see if he has some writings dealing with this. As for me, I would strongly recommend you NOT play any Tom Waits music around this girl. Google "cluster b personality disorder" to understand it better.
A couple of months ago I wrote about being the child of an addict.
At the same time, as weird as it might sound, she has a lot of mental issues due to her upbringing/past so there are lots of things in every day life [even small ones] that often cause unnecessary problems and misunderstandings. Responds best to direct/upfront type of communication [she's Russian by the way]. This is fucked cause for some reason she can't live in peace and harmony [to a bigger degree than regular women], and creates drama almost as if she couldn't handle happy times for too long.
] This sounds almost exactly like a woman I dated when I was 23 and she was 22. Odds are she won't see the humor in songs like "The Piano Has Been Drinking." Can also happen to children of 'dry drunks'.
Bad news is that it's quite a tough love and while never ending ups and downs keep me "busy" with her and engaged it's starting to get tiring. 2) Is taking positive steps to address those flaws? In retrospect, I think she was just a drama queen and had it not been for her dad being a drunk she'd have been going on about something else. It was like some kind of Bizarro World rite of passion for her dysfunctional family.
Makes me wonder about any potential future with a woman like that. [edit: just read the part where she's apparently aware - what kind of help is she getting? You might want to head over to Rollo Tomassi's blog to see if he has some writings dealing with this. As for me, I would strongly recommend you NOT play any Tom Waits music around this girl.
I speak from my heart, through my pain and fear, and hope that in this you can find some strength, some solidarity, and some understanding. I’m mentioning this first because you are not responsible for my behavior (in the interest of simplicity, I’ll be identify the ACo A as “me” throughout.) And also, I need it. My psychosocial development was probably stunted because one or more of the necessary milestones of childhood was not met.
You can read about Erik Erikson’s Eight Stages of Psychosocial Development here. If my needs weren’t met as an infant — for example, I was denied basic care and emotional support right out of the starting gate, I don’t trust you. It is meant to identify some of the unusual emotional challenges that the grown-up kids of addicts face, and hopefully to give those folks who love us some insight. Of course, not everything I tell you here will apply to every situation: Pick and choose what seems appropriate to you, and even better, ask the person you love what would help. I am just a person who grew up with a significant amount of pain and suffering, which has shaped me into this woman I am today. Good news is that things are more clear now and even though a lot of her behaviors/reactions are still weird to me at least it makes sense to me why she does what she does. I think you know what to do, it's time to cut her loose.But is it really an excuse to let a lot of things slide? Is there any evidence that she: 1) Sees that there are some serious flaws with her personality? I'll never forget the night she called me in tears because her younger brother got his first DUI arrest.My ex's grandparents were raging alcoholics and her dad never had a drink a day in his life but otherwise displayed all the personality flaws of an alcoholic and her mom was a codependent/BPD herself.